Purely coincidental that I officially publish this post on Mothers' Day evening. Adds a nice touch to it. This is a letter I'm writing for my future daughter-in-law, hoping that this eat ur banana, or blogging in general, still exists when that time comes. Started writing this a few days ago, but I just had to stop several times... Sometimes to wipe my own tears...
This one's for you, my new daughter...
Hello my dear! How are you today? Perhaps it came as a surprise to you, receiving a letter from me, just out of the blue. And of course, your mind is racing with a million questions and you're wondering why I'm writing a letter for you...
Fret no more. Nothing is wrong. If it would make you feel better, I wrote this letter for you about twenty-five years ago. I didn't even know you back then. Perhaps you haven't even been born, although that I cannot ascertain at the time of writing. But my son, you husband, wasn't here yet... Not for a few more years...
Back then, I was a new daughter-in-law myself. Being my first time (and last, thankfully), I was also confused. I also had a lot of questions, doubts, and fears running around my big head. But I won't bore you with the details of my past. After all, it's all in the archive now. All the good and the bad had led to what we have right now. And for me, that is what's truly important. The present. And the future.
My son, your husband, is the best thing that ever happened to me. Next to his Father, of course! He won't even be here without his Father. And if my instincts serve me right, you think the same way of him... And for that I am happy... Beyond happy, actually... Over the years, we worked hard to be able to provide out family with our needs. We may not have much but I believe we had enough. Sometimes, a little more than enough. And for that we thank the Universe for being so good to us all this time...
Here are a few things I've learned over the years of being a wife and a mother. Feel free to try them out and hopefully you can share your learnings with me too.
Strive to be a happy person, inside and out. A happy wife makes a happy life.
Forget about DIY-ing everything in your home and killing yourself in the process.
Forget about the mountain of dishes you sometimes leave in the sink overnight. They will still be there tomorrow.
Cuddle up with your family as much as you want - they sure love it too.
Stop punishing yourself for that stubborn stain on your husband's shirt. A little soy sauce spot won't kill him.
Never mind if your pillowcases and sheets don't match. You don't see them while sleeping, anyway.
Stop scrubbing your floors 'til they show your reflection. Slavery is so out of fashion now.
Meals never have to be made straight out of chef recipes. What matters is the conversations at the table.
Sending your kids to school clean is good enough. They don't have to look airbrushed, photoshopped, and look prepped-up for a photo shoot.
Forget about putting your best foot forward with me. Just be happy, be yourself, love your family and I will love you for it.
Say whatever it is that you need to say. Nicely or otherwise, it's up to you. I hope it's the former though.
Hugs are free. Share as much as you can.
I was never a perfect mother.
Neither was I a perfect wife, girlfriend, daughter, sister, friend... person.
And for all it's worth, it is the only thing I expect you to be as well - imperfect yet truly happy.
I love you...
Photo Credits: Audra's Photography